For the first time in nearly a year...

[kitsap_charles]

I've got a job interview.

A recruiter for Premera Blue Cross, on the north side of Seattle (in Mountlake Terrace, actually-- across the county line and effectively inaccessible by public transportation), called to set up a combined technical and management interview for Thursday afternoon. I haven't had even the hint of a job prospect since late September, and the recruiter says they've got multiple openings because they're moving some work from other areas and the people there don't want to relocate.

The quick-and-dirty review of what they're looking for is right up my technical alley.

So why am I scared witless? Surely they'll understand that I haven't worked in almost a year because there hasn't been any work, right? They won't hold that against me... And there haven't been any significant technical breakthroughs in the last ten or eleven months that I'd need to be on top of, not in mainframe database technology. So the technical screening ought to be a breeze.

It's the confidence thing. My almost complete lack thereof, exacerbated by feelings of uselessness stemming not only from not being the breadwinner wage-earner guy, but by not having been able to help (FSVO "help") angilong through her emotional upheavals these past several months.

So, if anyone's reading this: send me goodthoughts, ask whatever Powers That Be for their positive intervention to the greater good of the greatest number, and let me get this job!

Comments

[fimbrethil.livejournal.com]

Good vibes, good thoughts and anything else I can think of headed your way. Fingers crossed and all dieties I can think of are on alert.

Re: Goodthoughts

[kitsap_charles]

Thank you, m'dear. I know we haven't exchanged much email in the past, but you've been on my "friends" list since shortly after the recent unpleasantness. angilong, my lifepartner, was in frequent contact with Liam via chat, and knows clairaide well enough to have traveled to San Francisco to help her through the roughest parts of that first hellish week.

So, m'dear, your good wishes mean all the more to me for our connection, indirect though it may be. Thank you most sincerely.

Re: Sincerity

[kitsap_charles]

As someone once observed, sincerity is the most important thing; once you can fake that, everything else is easy.

Another dear friend once counseled me about desperation, and the avoidance thereof. It was in a different context, but the advice still holds: desperation is not pretty, and the more desperate one appears to be, the less likely one is to achieve the goal. That piece of advice gave me the courage to go to a social gathering despite my depression, at which I met my present beloved lifepartner.

Thank you for the lucky number; there's definite power in three. Consider how many literary and social tropes come in threes: red, white, and blue; faith, hope, and charity; thesis, antithesis, and synthesis; Larry, Curly, and Moe.

Once again, thank you for the advice and counsel.

Trinities

[kitsap_charles]

Hmm... if we're going that way, I'd prefer jamocha, almond, and fudge. But YMMV.

All good reminders and excellent advice; thank you again, m'dear. Sleep is the toughie for me; over the past few months I've become even more nocturnal than my regular pattern. (People seem to be either "larks" or "owls", and I've always been the latter.) But since my interview isn't until the early afternoon, I can sleep relatively late, take my time caffeinating, have a light bite to eat-- being careful not to trigger any of the less pleasant byproducts of digestion, if you get my drift-- and knock 'em dead.

One of their technical screeners called me earlier today. He was going through the list of people they're interviewing, trying to decide which would be "interesting" enough for him to want to participate. He gave me some more insights into the job and the working environment. In particular, he advised me that he personally always gives more credence to interviewees who take the trouble to dress up rather than down-- a necktie opens his doors, if nobody else's. Also, the jobs for which they're presently hiring are to "sunset" some older application systems, and so by December 2003 I'll be jobhunting again-- whether that will be within the company or elsewhere remains to be seen. (Of course, if for some reason they didn't hire me, I might still be jobhunting then!)

Anyway, after a half-hour conversation, he allowed as how he definitely be participating in my interview tomorrow. That's a positive note; if I weren't interesting enough (FSVO "interesting"), he'd not bother.

So, tonight I'll browse through some of the more important tech manuals relevant to the job requirements (sounds like Scotty on Star Trek, doesn't it; relaxing by reading up on his tech), go to bed relatively early, sleep until nine-ish, clean up, start my day off feeling good, and go nail down a job.

YAY!

[vamp-ire.livejournal.com]

*BoInG*

I'm happy to hear about the interview! I haven't said much to you before (due to all my own stuff going on), but I really really do hope it goes well. I'll be thinking good things for ya on Thursday!

Don't worry about feeling a bit scared, everbody feels scared sometimes. Whenever you think you are gonna start looking too scared, just start acting like it is all pretend. That always works for me. :)

Re: YAY!

[kitsap_charles]

I've been avidly -- avidly! -- following your goings-on, and I'm proud of you finding an Uncle who suits you so. Especially in light of all the other events about which you write so eloquently.

Thanks also for the promise of good thoughts coming my way on Thursday. They will be much appreciated, and greatly needed.

I'm not so much concerned about "being afraid" as I am uncertain due to not having had a job for so many months. Low self-esteem is insidious, it eats away at my confidence almost unawares.

I think that instead of employing the traditional lecturer's stratagem-- that of visualizing my audience naked-- I'll recall the (supposed) translation of Chewbacca's last howl in the original Star Wars (tm) film. Princess Leia has just given Han and Luke their medals, they all turn around, and Chewie yells, "I'm NAKED!"

Thanks again for the support, m'dear-- and I still would like to meet with you some time to discuss the topic about which we exchanged email a couple of months ago. At your convenience, in a mutually agreeable place and time, of course.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i have my fingers and toes crossed for you.

i think you're going to do just fine. you seem to me to be competent, and if i had a mainframe database job to offer, i'd certainly want to interview you for it. (sadly, i'm in user admin on distributed systems, and they don't let me do the hiring. foo.)

[kitsap_charles]

OW! Not the toes, please. (I dropped a Big Heavy Thing (tm) on my left great toe back in October; eventually I lost the nail, and it's now coming back ingrown. Much pain, and no job implies no healthcare, ergo no doctor to make it better. So cross as many fingers as you like, but not the toes, please.)

It's not the competence; I'm reasonably sanguine about passing the technical screening, for there haven't been many changes to DB2, IMS, CICS, MVS, TSO and their close friends since I last used them. It's the confidence I fear I lack-- I've been subjected not merely to a year of rejection but one of being ignored totally, career-wise. I've sent resume after resume, application after application, to no more response than the auto-reply email saying they've gotten my note, and if they're interested they'll get back to me.

(Cue sound F/X: crickets.....)

It has literally been ten months since I've had a job interview of any kind, and I'm hoping my interview skills are like unto my bicycling skills-- one quickly regains one's touch, they say, after a couple of laps around the block. If only I'd been able to have a warm-up interview, for a job I could afford to not care about. {sigh}

Thanks for the finger-crossing, and thanks even more for sharing your confidence with me.

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Eris and I have been chatting and I'm asking for her help in this. We'll make a sacrifice out of some of our sweat and tears.

Have you thought of setting up a role-playing situation where someone else is the interviewer and they interview you before Thursday? I know it sounds trite and contrived but it really does help.

*hugs*

Re:

[kitsap_charles]

If I had access to an experienced interviewer, I'd be happy to role-play some typical situations. But I've been to so many interviews over the years (just not the past year)-- heck, I've been on both sides of the table more often than I want to think about counting at the moment-- that the process itself and the most likely questions are second nature to me.

As more and more people send their thoughts and good wishes, I'm becoming more and more confident of making a good impression on Thursday. From your lips-- and sweat glands and tear ducts-- to Eris's ears and heart. And as always, let all things be for the greatest good of the greatest number. Selah.

Oh, and by the way: many, many thanks.

[baxil.livejournal.com]

Best of luck. I know the pain of unemployment and the agony of the lone opportunity you Just Can't Afford To Lose.

The only words of encouragement I can really offer are that life has a funny way of giving us exactly what we need. (Not always what we want, but what we need.) If this opportunity is right for you, then wild horses wouldn't be able to stop you from acing the interview.

Do as much as you can in advance to prepare ... and then just be yourself at the interview.

My thoughts will go with you.

Re: Rolling Stones

[kitsap_charles]

As the poet said, "You can't always get what you want, but... sometimes you get what you need."

This opportunity may indeed be right for me. It's then a simple (hah!) matter of convincing the hiring managers of that fact, with respect to the umpteen gazillion other candidates they'll be vetting.

Thank you, dear Bax, for your encouragement and good wishes.