Five by Five

First I'll follow the meme, then later I'll post a more comprehensive update...

Five things that 2002 taught me:

• I am not disposable.
• I am worthy of love.
• Help sometimes comes from unexpected quarters.
• When passion meets passion in equal measure, anything is possible.
• There is still music in my soul.

Five personally significant events of 2002:

• Deciding suicide was too much trouble for the payoff.
• Applying for, and receiving, a retraining grant.
• Going back to school.
• Ending my partnership with angilong
• Thanksgiving, and the blissful weeks following.

Five Six things I want to do in 2003:

• Get out of this place and into a space where I can begin to heal.
• Rediscover my true strength and inner power.
• Get a job.
• Finish school.
• Get a real job.
• Rejoin Handfast with my chosen family, and marry my beloved.

Five things I don't want to do in 2003:

• Hear a potential employer say, "You're technically qualified, but we don't have nearly as many positions open as we told you we did during your interview, so we picked the people we thought would "fit well with our team".
  In other words, you're a misfit; go away.
• Hear the second most passionate woman I've ever met say, "I don't have the time or energy for you, not even as "just friends".
• Hear my lifepartner say, "We're not partners any longer, but we can still be housemates and co-parents."
• Not long afterward, hear my former lifepartner say, "No, that's not going to work for my new partner, who has issues about sharing space with you... so I'm filing for divorce and how soon can you be moved out?"
  Note that the new partner has never told me what those issues are, or how I might have been able to address them...
• Hear a desireable potential play-friend say, "Oh, you're angilong's husband? There's no way I'd even touch you, she's toxic and I don't need the drama."

Five people who I'd like to know better in 2003:

• riverheart (Duh.)
• jenkitty (Also duh.)
• technoshaman (Continuing the duh list; these are my chosen family, and getting to know each other better will be our lifelong task.)
• aladriana
• arctic_tundra